


Unconventional Means

by Overseas



Series: Unconventional Means [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Awkwardness, Bromance, Brothers, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, No Slash, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1769425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overseas/pseuds/Overseas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan does not agree with Anakin's new chosen method of releasing his emotions and decides to take matters into his own hands. Whether Anakin will agree with decision or not is a different matter. Warning: contains spanking of an adult. No slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy =^.^=
> 
> Disclaimers: I own nothing.

Obi-Wan knew that, really, it was none of his business. Yes, he was Anakin's master, but Anakin wasn't a child any more. He was a grown man now, or near enough anyway. He was a twenty year old excelling padawan who, alongside Obi-Wan, was in charge of a battalion of men with who they won battles with. He had proved on more than enough occasions that he could take care of himself.

But he was still Anakin's master. And no matter how old he was or how good a Jedi he was becoming, it was still his responsibility, his duty, to look after his padawan. He wanted to look after him (he'd been doing so for the past eleven years, he didn't see any reason in stopping now), but he wasn't sure how to go about doing so. Because, well... technically he wasn't in any trouble, at least none that he knew of. In fact, the reason that he was concerned was that Anakin was improving, not worsening, which was odd, but he did have his reasons.

Anakin had never been very good with controlling his emotions. Most of the fights that happened with the other padawans (though they weren't always his fault) did usually involve him one way or another. His temper had always been an issue, as had his pride and his utter belief that he was always right until proven wrong; he often made it very clear that he wasn't pleased when he didn't get his own way, which was childish and irritating, but still continued. At least, it had done till now.

Anakin was... calm. And it was almost unnerving. Of course, it didn't change every aspect of his personality, he still carried the same charming arrogance that he always had, but he had such a tight reign on his emotions like Obi-Wan had never seen before. The boy had never had so much control over himself and Obi-Wan wanted to know why. The way a conventional Jedi handled emotions was releasing their emotions into the Force through meditation. Anakin was meditating about as much as he had always done and that was not a great amount, despite his failed efforts over the years to make him meditate more. He hated meditation with a vengeance and often saw it as a punishment rather than a tool to help him. If he had so much self control through meditation, he would be meditating a lot, probably to the extent that Obi-Wan wouldn't see him most of the day because all he would be doing would be meditating.

So how on earth did his padawan magically have the self control of a Jedi Knight? It didn't make any sense. Though he couldn't understand how Anakin was managing his emotions, he did notice a definite pattern. He'd be at his best at the beginning of the week and then slowly deteriorate throughout. By the end of it, his temper would almost be as bad as it used to be. And then, that magical changed happened over night and suddenly he was fine again.

Then Obi-Wan's confusion only furthered when on one sleepless night he saw his padawan leave their apartment, only to return a few hours later. Throughout those few hours, Anakin's mental shields were as high as he could raise them. Whatever he was doing, he clearly did not want his master to know about it and that was why the Jedi was worried. The boy was probably leaving the temple to do Force only knew what and even though whatever it was was doing his padawan good, the thing itself essentially may not be good, if he were so desperate to keep it hidden.

Obi-Wan hoped that it was something he wanted to be kept private rather than something illegal. He knew it wasn't drugs (as if Anakin would be that stupid anyway) because he would have doubtlessly felt the high through their bond, nor was it podd racing. The boy had already got into trouble for going out to race before now and he knew that Anakin couldn't keep up his mental shields whilst racing. He may have some of the fastest reflexes of the whole order, but he couldn't master that level of concentration. So what was it then? What could, after eleven years of turbulent emotions and failed meditation sessions, finally enable Anakin to keep a hold on them?

The Jedi had every intention of finding out. Today was the last day of the week and wherever Anakin was going, he was going too. If it was something safe and legal, then he would allow Anakin his privacy and pretend that he had never caught on to what was happening. He just needed to check, mainly out of concern, but also partly out of curiosity. He rather wanted to see what method had succeeded where his had failed.

\--

Obi-Wan watched with a wince as Anakin's speeder descended lower and lower into underbelly of Coruscant. The likelihood of whatever he was doing being safe and legal grew smaller and smaller the further he went down. As great a city as Coruscant was, it's lower levels practically bred crime. No respectable Jedi would be seen down there unless on business, especially now with the war, when the galaxy's attention now turned to the Order. It didn't bode well that Anakin was going to the lower levels. Obi-Wan could only hope that there would be some reasonable explanation, though he couldn't find one himself.

When he was sure Anakin was far away enough that he couldn't tell he was being followed, he began flew his speeder in Anakin's direction. He hoped that the boy wouldn't find out he was tailing him because he knew that he would throw a tantrum over it. Obi-Wan would prefer that scenario though to one where he had to lecture his padawan on the dangers of whatever it was he was doing. He'd much prefer to find out he was paranoid than finding his padawan in danger.

He hung back as Anakin landed, watching the young man climb out of his speeder and head into the building he had parked outside of. He didn't even bother looking around as he did so. Careless boy. Always so confident that he wouldn't get caught. Still, for once his pride was actually working to Obi-Wan's advantage. It would be easier for the Jedi to slip in to where ever he was if his padawan wasn't on red alert.

He parked his speeder next to Anakin's looking around him. The building itself seemed rather isolated and surprisingly clean for being so low down in Coruscant. It must be a rather high end club, yet there was no music blasting out of it. More baffled than ever, the Jedi made his way to the door pushing it only to find it wouldn't open.

"Do you have an appointment?"

Obi-Wan turned, his eyebrows rising in surprise at finding a comlink by the door. He pressed a button and spoke into it, "No, I don't. I was looking for a friend of mine, he just walked in here."

"Are you a Jedi?" the woman's voice sounded more curious than worried.

"I'm here on no legal matter, I assure you. I merely want to find my friend."

There was a pause, before she spoke again, "Wait for me in reception."

There was a loud buzz and the door slid open. Obi-Wan stepped inside, lowering his hood as he walked in. He was most definitely not in a club. The reception was bathed in the warm light of the chandelier hanging on the ceiling, the crystals reflective lights dancing on the walls. Whoever owned this place had wealth, the small couches and armchairs dotted around the room looked plush and expensive. It was quiet, almost peaceful, the only sound being the Jedi's footfalls.

The thought that came to his mind when he saw all of this grandeur was brothel, but he had never seen one sigh high end so far down. And also, there was no one there. Usually, judging from the missions he had been on where he had to go into places like this, there would be working men and women already trying to seduce him. Yet there was no one there. The whole situation seemed to be getting stranger by the minute.

"Master Jedi," he turned at the silky voice above him. The woman he spoke to was making her way down the stairs, the sight of her only confusing him more. She didn't look like a mistress or a prostitute. Her clothes looked expensive, but they lacked the extravagance and provocativeness that Obi-Wan had expected. Her black hair was done up in a tight bun and she seemed to have an air of... not arrogance but self assurance. She had power here and she was well aware of it, "How can I help you?"

He made a slight bow when she reached the stairs, "A friend of mind just walked in and I was wondering if you could tell me what he is doing here?"

She gazed at him for a moment, thinking, "Do you not know where you are?"

He smiled politely and shook his head, "I'm afraid not."

"How did you find us then?"

He paused, "I... was told I could find my friend here."

She raised a sceptical eyebrow, "Your informer must be incredibly quick to tell you about a boy who walked in here only a minute ago," she continued to stare at him, like she was trying to figure him out, "I know where your friend is, but I'm afraid I can't take you to him."

The Jedi frowned a little, but still kept his tone light, "Why not?"

"The privacy of my clients is paramount, Master Jedi. You must understand that if they don't feel safe here, if they don't trust me, they won't come back."

"I'm not here to make an arrest, I merely need to speak to him."

"Well, you couldn't make an arrest even if you wanted to. What we do here is perfectly legal," she said coolly, folding her arms across her chest.

"Really?" he asked, unconvinced, "and what is it that you do here?"

She didn't answer at first, merely looking the Jedi up and down, "We aren't a brothel. What we do does involve pleasure, but not the kind that you're thinking of."

"Forgive me, but your reluctance to tell me what actually happens here doesn't inspire much belief."

"I'm merely trying to spare your padawan the shame and embarrassment of letting his master know why he comes here, Master Kenobi," she smirked at the look of confusion on his face, "he mentioned you. You came up in, er... conversation," she leant against the wall, the smug look on her face irking him, "My... you two have  _a lot_  of issues to sort out."

"The issues between me and my padawan are none of your concern," Obi-Wan answered coldly, "now kindly tell me where is."

"He's an adult and in no danger, I don't have to tell you anything," the woman replied, the coolness of her tone matching Obi-Wan's, "I don't think he needs to have Daddy interrupting his little session."

The Jedi opened his mouth to speak, his cheeks burning with indignation and embarrassment before a sound interrupted them. It was distant, but loud enough to break the conversation. It was a strangled cry; Anakin had been injured enough times for Obi-Wan to recognise his cries of pain.

His head snapped back to the woman, who looked considerably less complacent, "Take me to him now or I will make sure that every single client that you have will never come back here again," he said, his voice brittle, scarcely hiding the determination that burned beneath it.

She shook her head, sighing, "You don't know what you're doing," she muttered, leading him up the stairs, "I don't suppose if I tell you what we do here now, you won't go barging in, will you?"

"Just take me to him," the Jedi ordered firmly.

"Well, at least your protective of him, if nothing else," she murmured, leading him down a corridor, "pity he doesn't know that."

She stopped at a door which was slightly ajar. She knocked and called out, "Brace yourselves, children, we have a visitor," she turned to Obi-Wan, "just remember, he came here of his own will. He asked and paid for this. My people are innocent in this matter."

"I will decide that for myself," Obi-Wan retorted, pushing past her and heading inside.

He didn't really know what he expected to see, but the scene he walked in on hadn't even crossed his mind as a possibility. Anakin was, or had been (there were two people who were hurriedly releasing his bonds) tied to a metal "X", his shoulders taught with his limbs being tied in accordance to the cross. It wasn't just the position he was in that made the Jedi gape in such an un-Jedi like fashion. Blood was trailing down his back, a long, thin red stripe cut across his back.

"Master!?" Obi-Wan's eyes tore away from the blood that was slowly making its way down the tanned skin to his padawan's face. He didn't think he'd ever seen it more red. If it weren't for the situation, he would have found it amusing to see the utter dismay on the boy's face and he might have even laughed as the boy squealed, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"I'd like to ask you the same question," Obi-Wan retorted, folding his arms across his chest.

"You have no right to be here!" Anakin cried, his feet hitting the floor with a dull thud as his bonds came free.

"I thought you were in danger and it looks like I wasn't wrong," the Jedi all but snarled, his frown flitting to the mark on his back.

Anakin followed his stare, his face darkening, "You had no right-"

"I had every right!" Obi-Wan snapped, "I am your master, it is my job to protect you," he picked up his padawan's tunic off the floor and tossed it to him, "get dressed. We're going. Now."

"No."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at Anakin, "I'm sorry," he asked quietly, silently daring him to say it again, "what did you say?"

"I'm not going," the padawan glared at him, defiance etched into every line his glare made. Obi-Wan took a step forward, danger emanating off him.

"My  _very_  young padawan, if you do not put on that tunic and leave with me right now, I will see it fit to find reason to report what has gone on here to the Council," he watched with satisfaction as the defiance drained from his face, leaving behind and a look of daunting horror, "is that what you want?"

Anakin glared at him, knowing that he had lost. It was humiliating enough for Obi-Wan to see him in such a compromising position, but for the Council to know about this? The thought alone made him wonder if he could actually die of embarrassment. He threw his tunic on and stormed past Obi-Wan, snatching up his belt and cloak by the door. The Jedi huffed out a sigh, sweeping past the shell shocked woman and following his padawan down the stairs. This was going to be ugly.

\--

Obi-Wan didn't think that he had endured such a stony silence before now. Anakin was seething in the seat next to him, pointedly glaring at anywhere other than his master. The boy could still throw outrageous tantrums at twenty and he had always been the master of holding grudges. He may have been silent then, but as soon as they would get in, he would doubtless throw a fit. Yes, he was becoming a great Jedi (doubtless he would be better than Obi-Wan some day), but Force, he could be such a child at times.

He supposed he had some reason to be angry, he had inadvertently humiliated his padawan, which he did not want to do, but what did he expect? He was being hurt, whipped for heaven's sake. Of course he was going to intervene! Yet still, in spite of this, Obi-Wan was sure that to Anakin, he must seem like a paranoid, overbearing master, hell bent on making his padawan's life a living hell. Following him did make him seem a little crazy, but he didn't have much choice. Anakin wouldn't have told him anyway even if he asked.

They reached the temple, Anakin jumping out of the speeder before it had even come to a full stop. Obi-Wan sighed as he watched his padawan storm off into the temple, the boy's cloak flapping about him. He never made things easy. He got out of the speeder and followed Anakin at a far calmer pace. By the time he reached their apartment, Anakin was already waiting for him, pacing up and down the length of their living room. The boy fixed him with a venomous glare, the anger and embarrassment pulsing through their bond now Anakin didn't bother putting up his mental shields.

"You  _followed_ me," he snarled, his pacing coming to a halt, "I'm not a child, Master! You can't do things like that!"

"I'm your master and I thought you were in danger, I had every right to do what I did. Besides," Obi-Wan turned from him, heading into the kitchen, returning quickly with a chair, "you wouldn't have told me even if I had asked."

"That's because it's none of your business!" the boy snapped.

"Anakin, your safety has been my business for eleven years. Just because you think you're old enough to look after yourself completely does not mean that that it is true. Take off your tunic."

"What?" Anakin glared, displeased with the sudden shift in conversation.

"You're bleeding through your tunic," Obi-Wan stated, "take it off."

Anakin had always hated the look on his master's face, the one that made him think that he was above everything, that he was better than his padawan, but he could feel the concern coming from him, which mollified him a little. Glaring, he did as he was told, stripping off the blood garment. Satisfied, Obi-Wan began to walk away.

"We're not done!" Anakin roared, his eyes flashing.

Slowly, Obi-Wan turned, raising his eyebrow at the seething boy, "I'm going to get the medkit," he answered coolly. He turned, leaving Anakin with his temper barely in his control.

"Sit down facing the back of the chair," Obi-Wan ordered as he returned, medkit and a damp cloth in his arms.

"A please would be nice," Anakin muttered, sitting down and leaning his arms on the back of the chair.

"Fewer secrets would be nice," Obi-Wan retorted, sitting on the arm of the sofa facing his padawan's bloody back, ignoring how sick the sight made him feel. Once he was done here, he would make sure that that... place, whatever it was, would be shut down.

"It wasn't a secret!" he snapped, hissing as the cold cloth was pressed against his back.

"Yes, it was," the Jedi murmured, washing off the blood with a frown.

"Fine. It was. But it wasn't yours to find out," Anakin grumbled.

"I'm your master, of course it was mine to find out," he withdrew the bloodied flannel, reaching in the small metal box for the antiseptic, "I don't need to tell you that this is going to hurt."

Anakin didn't care about his back; his pride was hurt more than anything else. They fell into a dark silence, Obi-Wan calmly washing his padawan's wound, whilst Anakin glared and hissed and squirmed. He hid his face against his arms, the biting sting in his back starting to get to him a little.

"Why did you let them do this to you?" the question caught Anakin off guard and he sat up, turning his head at his master's quiet voice. The man didn't look angry any more, just... sad.

His shoulders sagged and he turned back, staring at the wall head of him, "You wouldn't understand."

"You can't know that unless you tell me," Obi-Wan replied, winding a bandage round his wound, "I want to understand what you were doing at that place."

"You know why I was going there," Anakin mumbled, "I was worried you'd figure it out, but not this fast."

With everything that had happened, Obi-Wan had actually forgotten why he had been there in the first place. He stared at the white bandage, blood already seeping through it, "This?" he whispered, "this is the reason why you've been so..."

"Jedi-like?" Anakin asked bitterly, clambering off the chair, "Yeah, it is."

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said slowly, rising to his feet, "you can't go back there. You can't do this-"

"Do you think I have a choice?!" Anakin snapped, twirling round to face him, "Master,  _nothing works_. We have tried meditation for eleven years and it doesn't help me control my emotions and I need to now. I'm in charge of men's lives, I have to do this!" desperation leaked into the boy's expression, "I don't want to! Do you think I  _like_  going there?! I hate it, but if it works, then it doesn't matter!"

"But padawan," Obi-Wan implored, "look at what they did to you!"

Anakin sighed, "That's not what they usually do. I... I didn't know they were going to be doing that this time. Until tonight they'd never injured me like this."

"Why, what do they normally do?"

Anakin wasn't just bad at controlling his emotions; he was also terrible at hiding them. Colour rose to the boy's cheeks and he looked away, mumbling, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Obi-Wan asked lightly, "Oh, well, if I knew nothing helped you to control your emotions, I would have done that years ago," Anakin shot him a sour look, "Padawan, I can always just go back there and ask them. Either you can tell me or I can hear it from them, but I will find out."

"They..." Anakin sunk into the chair again and groaned, "it's embarrassing!" he glanced at Obi-Wan, who had his arms folding across his chest, still waiting for a reply. He hid his face in his hands and mumbled something incoherent.

"I'm sorry, Anakin, what was that?" Obi-Wan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They spank me," Anakin whimpered, wishing that the ground could swallow him up right there and then. Force, he'd prefer telling him about his marriage in comparison to this overwhelming sense of embarrassment.

Obi-Wan stared at him, a look of incredulity on the man's face, "They  _spank_  you? That's what works?!"

The boy couldn't even look at him. He gave a nod, his hands still hiding his face. Obi-Wan stared at him for a moment, before sinking back against the arm of the couch, "Oh Anakin," he murmured, stroking his beard, "I am sorry."

Anakin peered out of between his fingers, "Why?"

"As your master I should have helped you with your emotions. But clearly I haven't, seeing as you're now forced go to such lengths to control them."

Anakin stared at his master. He wasn't used to seeing the man so despondent. He really believed that this was all his fault, "It... it isn't your fault," he said, sighing, "I don't think meditation was ever going to work for me. I mean come on," he gave him a tiny smile, "I'm not exactly a model Jedi, am I?"

Obi-Wan gave a weary smile, "That doesn't mean that you're not a good Jedi."

Anakin scoffed, "Thanks, though I think there are those out there who'd disagree with you."

They lapsed into silence again, both of them mulling the conversation over in their mind, "Anakin, how did you even discover that this helps you?"

Anakin sighed, "Do you remember a few weeks ago I accidentally gave myself a black eye by taking off my belt?"

Obi-Wan couldn't help but grin at the memory. It was rather funny, "Yes."

"Then," he sighed, "I was really angry, I don't even remember why and then I accidentally did that and suddenly... I was just calm. It was like someone had slapped me and told me to stop being so stupid," he shrugged, "I... I tried to hurt myself- Master, please don't look like that," Anakin asked, wincing at the pained expression on the Jedi's face, "I'm fine, honestly. Like I said, I kept trying, but I couldn't force myself to do it to the extent that I needed. So, I looked it up and found that there were professionals who could do it for me. And that's why I went to that club."

Obi-Wan didn't respond for a few minutes, thinking over what Anakin had said. He could see his padawan's logic, that didn't mean that he liked it. The thought of Anakin trying to hurt himself to just to try to calm himself down hurt more than it should. "So... why spanking?"

Anakin flinched at the question; clearly his ego was still very tender, "It... because it doesn't injure me, not permanently anyway. It hurts and it's humiliating, but it doesn't leave any lasting injuries. Besides, there weren't many safe options besides it. And... it does the job," he stared down at his boots, clearly very uncomfortable with Obi-Wan's choice of subject.

"So..." Obi-Wan continued carefully, "they hurt you until..."

"Until I break," Anakin said quietly, "they push me to a point where I just break down and I can't hide or try to ignore how I feel any more. It's like I just purge all of my emotions in one go and then I'm set for the week," he glanced at Obi-Wan and smiled a little. He pointed to the man's face, murmuring, "That look right there. That's the reason I didn't want to tell you."

"Did you expect any other look?" Obi-Wan sighed, his eyes shining, "as a Jedi and a general you get hurt far too much as it is. I do not like the thought of you voluntarily hurting yourself along with all the pain you already experience."

"Well, it isn't like it doesn't serve a purpose, Master. In the long run, it does help me," he smiled at the man, who still looked rather shell shocked, "there are far worse things that could and have happened to me than being unable to sit for a few days. I'm surprised you didn't notice."

"I had no reason to suspect," Obi-Wan shrugged, though he returned the smile, "how much did those sessions cost, might I ask?"

"Oh, I saved up some money of my own. So don't worry, the Order's funds aren't going to be hurt by it," Anakin replied. He glanced at the time and sighed, "I ought to go back."

"You're not going back there."

Anakin's head turned to Obi-Wan, staring at him with raised eyebrows, "I'm sorry, did you hear nothing of what I just said?"

"Anakin, it may be a way to release your emotions, but it does not mean that it is healthy or safe."

"But I just said-"

"I know and I'm sorry, padawan, but I cannot allow strangers to hurt you, whether you need it or not," he could feel the boy's anger rising up in him and he sighed, "look. Am I allowed to have a few days to think about this? Before I can let you go off and let them do those things to you, I need to know that you're safe. Please?"

Anakin glared at him, before sighing, running a hand through his hair which seemed to be getting longer every day, "I don't know why you're bothering to ask me. It's not as if I've got a choice."

Obi-Wan smiled, "No, but I thought I'd be polite."

"Well, you'd better make your mind up soon, Master. In case you haven't noticed, I don't last too long without going to see them."

"All in good time my young padawan," Obi-Wan replied, squeezing the boy's shoulder in spite of the moody look on his face, "all in good time."


	2. Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers: I own nothing

Obi-Wan did not want to be here. There were plenty of places he would much rather be, plenty of things he would much rather be doing. But he wasn't here out of want. He was here out of necessity. Anakin was reaching breaking point. In three days, the boy had already turned moody and snappish, acting more like a bratty child than an army general. He was frustrated and desperate and Obi-Wan knew that if he didn't come back to this place, Anakin would. And he didn't want that to happen, not until he had made his decision.

He rang the buzzer for the fourth time, hoping that someone would answer, though he wouldn't blame them if no one did. After all the mayhem he had caused last time, he doubted that he would be allowed entry. So he flinched in surprise when the door slid open. It was the same woman who had greeted him last time, though she was a lot more unwelcoming now. She gave him a cold look, before stating, "He isn't here."

"I know," Obi-Wan stated simply, "I'm not looking for him this time."

"Then why are you here? Come to steal away my customers and my money again?"

She blinked in surprise as Obi-Wan held out a handful of credits, "Anakin insisted," he explained, smiling ruefully, "he said it was only fair after all that happened."

"All that you caused, you mean," she said, taking the credits off his palm.

"I had my reasons."

"Yes, I'm sure you did," she looked him up and down and sighed, "So, did you come here just reimburse me or to tell me that I'm not to let your padawan come through these doors again?"

"Neither," Obi-Wan stroked his beard, "I came here to talk."

"To talk?" She raised a quizzical eyebrow, "about what?"

"About Anakin," a look of something close to weariness passed over his face, "I'm afraid I need your advice."

Her eyebrow black eyebrow rose higher, "My advice?"

"I thought that you were the best person to come to. I can always pay you if you won't give me a conversation for free."

She stared at him, as though she was trying to figure him out. He could understand why she was confused, judging by his reaction last time. She stuck out a pale hand, the nails painted a violent shade of red, "Mira Dinantur."

He gave her a smile, before taking her hand, "Obi-Wan Kenobi, as you already knew."

Mira gave him a small, knowing smirk, "Yes. Please, come in," she moved aside, allowing him to step over the threshold, "clearly we have a lot to talk about."

..

"I only have green tea. Will that be all right?"

"Fine, thank you," Obi-Wan replied, looking around the ornate room. It was clear that despite living in a planet that was a city, she loved nature. There was a screen with a lacquer illustration on it, pale blue with carefully painted birds. Vases, large and small and all overflowing with flowers were dotted strategically around the room, filling the air with a sweet, perfumed scent. Even the wall paper, which by the looks of it was handmade, had images of nature, yet still, it wasn't over the done. Mira was classy and had good taste.

"Thank you," he smiled as he took the tea from her.

"Do you like it?" she asked, waving her hand in a careless gesture to the room.

Obi-Wan nodded, "It's beautiful. I was wondering why you chose to come here, when you clearly love nature so much."

Mira gave him her first genuine smile as she sat down in front of him opposite the small, dark table, small animals engraved on its legs, "Unfortunately I can't make money on a forest planet where no one lives. I love what I do and for that I have to sacrifice my love of things that grow," she shrugged her lithe shoulders, "still, once every few months I leave my pets in charge and go to a planet far off in the outer rim. It's so old people have forgotten it's name, but it is teeming with life," she sighed, looking wistful for a moment before her green eyes snapped onto Obi-Wan, "But you didn't come here to talk about me. You're here to talk about Anakin," he nodded, "how is he?" she asked lightly, taking a sip of her tea.

"I think you know how he is," Obi-Wan replied, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Acting like a brat, perchance?" she asked, flashing a small grin.

The Jedi paused, "... Not the word I would use-"

"But accurate all the same," she shook her head, "I really don't mean to offend, but your padawan is one of the rudest people I have ever met when it comes to doing something he doesn't like."

"You knew that he didn't like it then?"

Mira rolled her eyes, "Of course. It was difficult to miss when we had to literally drag him into the room. As soon as he paid the money, he showed just how much he didn't want to be here," she leant forward a little, "he told me that coming here was like going to the doctors. Anakin hated being here, but he recognised his need for an emotional release, one which he could only get here," she shook her head, "it was why I found it so hard to come to my decision."

"Your decision?"

"You don't have to worry about your padawan coming back here, Master Kenobi. I'm not going to let him."

"Why? Because he doesn't enjoy it?"

"No," she gazed into the green tea, thinking, "most of the people who come here come because they want to. They come for sexual gratification. Anakin is different. He comes here for an emotional release only, a very big and violent emotional release I might say. It was three hours before he finally broke down on his first session," she caught the uncomfortable look on the Jedi's face and she smiled sympathetically, "too much information?"

"Just a tad," Obi-Wan murmured, taking a sip of his tea with a slight tremor in his hand.

"Well, as I was saying, he comes here for emotional release. But that involves him becoming an emotional wreck. At the end of all of our sessions, he is close to hysterical and that I cannot abide with. The session you interrupted was going to be his last. We can offer him the means for emotional upheaval, but we don't get paid to look after him afterwards. Unfortunately that isn't our job. If he were my sub, it would be, but I can't look after all of my clients after each session. It goes against my ethics to put him through that and offer no help after. I will not keep leaving him hysterical and upset simply because the Jedi believe in denying your emotions instead of actually dealing with them," she glanced at Obi-Wan, who was staring at her, slightly flabbergasted. Mira sighed, "sorry."

Obi-Wan shook his head, "No... No you're right," he placed his tea on the table, before resting his chin in his hands, "Anakin is no normal Jedi. If he were, he wouldn't have this problem. You see, my old master rescued him when he was nine years old from a life of slavery," she caught the look of surprise on her face, "he wasn't raised with the same means to inhibit emotions like the rest of the Jedi, but I still taught them to him any way. I thought that he would be able to learn to control his emotions. Clearly I was wrong," he sighed, rubbing his beard, "he has always been an unconventional Jedi. I should have made allowances where I expected him to conform and now look where I am."

Mira tilted her head thoughtfully, before smiling, "We all make mistakes. Family especially," she chortled a little as she watched Obi-Wan's head snap up, "only family is that protective. Or maybe you're just very close friends?"

"He... he's like my brother, yet at times he's also like my son," he waved his hand with a sigh, "it's complex, to say the least."

She shrugged, "All relationships are, Master Kenobi."

"I'm about to make it all the more complicated," Obi-Wan looked down at his hands, looking rather despondent, "even if what you do gives Anakin the help he needs, I do not feel comfortable with strangers hurting him and what you've said has only confirmed my thoughts," he took a breath, "which is why I've decided... I will give Anakin the emotional release he needs."

He looked up to find Mira staring at him, eyebrows raised in surprise, "You? You're going to spank him?"

Obi-Wan nodded, "It's clear that I don't have much choice in the matter. Only," his shoulders sagged, "I don't know how to do it."

"Are you sure this is is a good idea?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing else works. What else can I do? If he can't come here and he needs someone to look after him once it's done, then I'm the best candidate for the job. I don't want to," he insisted, like he needed her to understand this, "the last thing I want to do is hurt my padawan, but this will help him, I know it will."

She nodded thoughtfully, "Does he know you plan on doing this?"

"No," he muttered, "that's not a conversation I look forward to."

Mira thought for a moment, "Well, you may have to do it without his consent."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Obi-Wan asked, raising his eyebrows, " or ethical?"

"I'm afraid you might not have a lot of choice in the matter," she took a sip of her tea, "Anakin only came here when he was desperate and as soon as he didn't have to voluntarily involve himself, he wouldn't. As soon as he could, he would fight tooth and nail to stop us from doing so. He will be even less likely to participate now. He hates what we did to him. And he'll hate you for doing it to him. But," she offered him a reassuring smile, "he'll love you too."

"He will?" Obi-Wan asked, sounding unconvinced.

"Yes. He'll just never say. Look, he told me a lot of personal stuff, a lot of it being about you and him, but what I got from a lot of it is that he's needy," she explained simply, "when it comes to you, he's like a child. Anakin craves your attention. And when you're punishing him, all of your attention is going to be on him. When you spank him, it will all be about him, which is what he wants. It might not be the way he wants to get the attention, but he'll get it all the same. And you can comfort him afterwards, which he will love you for."

Obi-Wan frowned, "What on earth did he tell you about me?"

She smiled, "That you two have a lot of unsolved issues... But that he did want to solve them. And that among a few others you're one of the few people who he loves most in the world," she chuckled as she watched colour rise to Obi-Wan's cheeks and his head ducking quickly, "I take it that that hasn't come up in conversation?"

"... Not as explicitly as that no," Obi-Wan mumbled.

Mira reached over and patted his shoulder, "How about we move onto a different topic, shall we?"

"I don't think I'll enjoy any topic we discuss, but yes, why not?"

She smiled, "Now, about what to do when you actually spank him."

"And there is my example," he muttered.

She grinned, "You need to be the one in charge at all times. No matter what he does, whether argues, begs, cries, you have to ignore it. You need to remember that you're doing this to help him and you can't help him if you stop the punishment. That being said, before you punish Anakin, sit him down and try to talk to him about him. State why he's being punished, why this needs to happen. Perhaps you should set some rules, so he knows what he's done wrong?"

"Rules? Like what?" Obi-Wan scoffed.

Mira shrugged, "I don't know. Perhaps you ought to discuss it with him. Maybe... if he throws a tantrum or is more rude than usual. But as I said, talk it over with him."

"Any other advice?" Obi-Wan asked wearily.

"When you're punishing him, continually remind him that it's okay to cry, to be angry, to feel whatever he wants to. And encourage him to talk. Make sure that your smacks are constant and steady and that you don't miss a beat."

"I can't believe I'm actually going to be doing this," Obi-Wan groaned, "I... I don't believe in corporal punishment."

"Neither do I," Mira said simply, "but although we're disguising it as a punishment, what it is really is... enforced therapy."

"Enforced therapy?" Obi-Wan snorted.

"Something like that," Mira grinned, "besides, Anakin isn't a child, as much as he acts like one. What you're doing isn't illegal, nor is it abuse."

"It feels like it," Obi-Wan muttered.

"You'll get used to it," Mira shrugged, "I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will. You'll feel guilty at first, but remember, you're not doing it to hurt him. You're doing it to help him. Now, once it's done, he'll be upset, to say the least. So, it's up to you to make him feel better. Hug him, cuddle him. I know Jedi aren't very big on affection or attachments or whatever it was that Anakin said, but you'll just have to deal with it because he will need you to make everything better."

"What if he doesn't let me?"

"Hold him tighter. After care is just as important as the spanking itself. Do not neglect it, no matter how angry he is with you, no matter how much he protests, keep a tight hold of him. He'll thank you for it later. Well," she grinned at the Jedi's look of disbelief, "in so many words. And, above all, you need to trust yourself. If you think he needs to be taken over your knee, do it. If you know that he can't take much more, punish him. Discuss it beforehand, but let him know that he's not getting out of it. You'll probably have to pull him over your lap kicking and screaming and it'll be hard, but it'll be worth it in the end. That, I can guarantee."

\--

Anakin stormed down the corridor. The boy was seething, which would doubtless be no shock to Obi-Wan. The Jedi had stepped to far this time. He had already invaded his privacy, embarrassed him, made him reveal things that were utterly humiliating, but now he was stopping him from doing something that he actually needed! Master or no, Obi-Wan had overstepped the mark.

"Obi-Wan!" Anakin bellowed as he stomped into their apartment. The Jedi turned round, looking at him with a raised eyebrow, cool and collected as ever, "What did you tell her?" the boy growled, his eyes flashing as he made his way towards Obi-Wan, "did you actually make Mira ban me from the club?"

"No, I-"

"Then why the hell did she say I couldn't come any more?!" Anakin roared.

Obi-Wan's eyebrow rose further. Anakin hated how calm he always was, as though his padawan's righteous anger was above him, "Did you let her explain why she had banned you?" he asked, coolly. His glare intensified, but he didn't answer. He had stormed off in the middle of her sentence, but what did that matter? His master had something to do with this, that much was obvious, "I didn't ask her to bar you."

"Like hell you didn't," he snarled, "why else would she ban me?!"

"She told me that she didn't want you coming any more because it was unethical."

"Unethical?" Anakin snorted, "Master, please don't talk to me like I'm an idiot."

"Padawan, I am not talking to you like you're an idiot, though you are most certainly acting like one," anger rose up in the boy and Obi-Wan could obviously see it as he rose a pacifying hand, "All right, all right, I'm sorry. But please, can I at least explain what's been happening? Without any interruptions?" he gestured to the armchair, silently requesting for Anakin to sit down. He glowered at it for a moment, before throwing himself into the chair, "Thank you. Yes, I did talk to her, but," he rose his hand again, "I had nothing to do with her decision. She had already made up her mind before I had come."

"And why should I believe you?" Anakin asked reproachfully.

"Why shouldn't you, padawan? If I had asked her to ban you, don't you think I would have just told you? Would I really bother lying?" Anakin folded his arms across his chest and huffed. Obi-Wan was, annoyingly, making sense; the Jedi certainly never shied away from doing things that irritated his padawan and he had never minded making sure that Anakin knew his master was in the right and he was in the wrong, "Would I, Anakin?"

Force, he actually wanted an answer, another annoying thing that Obi-Wan did that Anakin hated. He always made him admit when he was wrong, "No," he grumbled, pointedly looking away from what what undoubtedly be a satisfied smile, "but if you didn't ask her to ban me, why were you even there?"

The Jedi paused and Anakin's glanced at him, confused to see a look of... regret? No... it looked more like when Obi-Wan was bracing himself for flying. Why didn't he want to tell Anakin what they talked about?

"I... went to Mira for advice."

Anakin's face screwed up a little in confusion, "Advice? About me?"

Obi-Wan nodded, "Yes, Anakin. That's why I went there," the Jedi didn't go on to explain further and the look of grim determination on the Jedi's face intensified. What on earth did they talk about? "padawan, you said, a few nights ago, that nothing else works. That hurting yourself was the only way to release your emotions."

Anakin nodded, raising an eyebrow as his master lapsed into silence, "Yeah?" he prompted. He was actually starting to feel a bit worried now because Obi-Wan never turned away from his duties, not once. If he had to do something, he'd do it. So why was he stalling?

"I agree with you," Obi-Wan looked down at his hands, "whether it is due to my failed teachings or it is simply how you are, this method is the only thing that helps you."

Anakin was actually started to feel a little guilty. He wasn't used to seeing Obi-Wan revealing a lack of faith in himself; he had always somehow depended on the man's self assurance, it was, for whatever reason, grounding, reassuring. The Jedi always knew what he was doing and he always knew that what he was doing was right, but now he didn't sound all that sure.

"Hey, you didn't fail teaching me," he murmured, "it was me, more than you, if it was you at all."

"Thank you, padawan," Obi-Wan gave him a mournful smile, "as I was saying though, this is what helps you release your emotions, which you need to do."

Anakin nodded, "So... I'll just have to go to another club?"

"Mira isn't going to let you. She's already contacted the clubs around Coruscant. I would have actually expected there to be more, but she's made sure you can't get into any of them."

Well, that was just great. How on earth was he going to release his emotions now? "Well, what then?" Anakin asked, exasperated, "if I can't go to a club, what am I going to do."

Obi-Wan took a breath, before lifting his head, his bright eyes fixing onto Anakin's own blue ones, "I am going to be the one who'll help you do this."

Anakin stared. He was slowly sitting up without realising, his eyes round with surprise. "You mean..." he swallowed, his eyes still fixed on his master. No look of mirth had passed his face thus far and Obi-Wan had never been one for pranks, "You're going to..."

"Spank you?" Obi-Wan nodded, "yes."

Anakin continued to stare. Obi-Wan seemed so calm, yet he could see the intensity behind his eyes. The Jedi was deadly serious, even if he was as collected as ever. Still, Anakin had to question it because this, this whole scene was surreal. Obi-Wan? Spank him? The thought alone brought colour to Anakin's cheeks and he shook his head, as though trying to rid the thought from his mind. He had to be wrong, had to be. This had to be some sort of... mistake? A joke? Anything, any reasonable explanation for his master's sudden turn to madness.

"Master... please tell you're not being serious," the boy said slowly.

Obi-Wan shook his head, "I wish I could, Anakin. Believe me when I tell you that this is the last thing that I want to do. But do it, I must."

"Wh-why!?" Anakin spluttered, jumping to his feet, "Why must you do this?!"

"Because I'm your master," the Jedi said simply, "it is my job to help you rid these emotions. And... it is my job to look after you. It has become clear that I haven't been doing that of late."

"N-no, you have!" Anakin stammered, his eyes still popping, "you're a great master, really! You don't have to do this!"

Obi-Wan smiled kindly, "Really Anakin, you expect flattery is going to change my mind?"

"It isn't flattery, I mean it!" the boy cried, "you're a wonderful master!"

"Thank you, padawan," he murmured softly, "but that still doesn't change anything."

"B-but, I... y-you can't!" Anakin yelped, "Master, I won't let you!"

"I didn't expect that you would, Anakin. But that has never stopped me from doing what I have needed to before."

"You can't do this!" the padawan yelled, feeling a little frustrated at how easily his master was taking this. Was seriously okay with doing this?! Did he actually find this as easy as he seemed to? "I-I don't want you to!"

"Padawan, I have been helping you with your emotions and looking after you for eleven years now," Obi-Wan said firmly, "just because the method has changed doesn't mean that I should stop."

"But you're talking about spanking me!" Anakin yelled, his cheeks turning red.

"And I will do it, Anakin," the firmness was still in his voice, sending shivers up Anakin's spine. His senses were telling him to get out, to leave, but even if he did, they would still have this conversation at some other point, "with your consent or not."

"S-so you're just going to spank me whenever you want?!" the boy squealed.

"Not whenever I want," Obi-Wan said, sounding a little exasperated, "when you need it. I don't want to do this, Anakin, believe me, but it is what I must do."

"Am I even going to get a say!?" he spluttered.

"We'll talk about it beforehand, but no, you don't."

"That isn't fair!" Anakin snapped, glowering.

"Padawan, be honest now. If I were to let you have a say, would I ever spank you?"

"... Yes," Anakin mumbled, looking away.

"Honestly, Anakin?"

The boy still glared, but after a moment's silence, shook his head.

"You see? How can I let you have a say when you will always refuse to let me give you what you need."

"But I don't..." the boy's protest trailed off.

"Don't need it?" Obi-Wan asked gently, a small smile playing on his lips.

At that moment, Anakin hated his master more than ever; he had been pushed into a corner that he couldn't get out of. He had said so himself that he needed this, that this was the only method that worked for him. He couldn't very well go back on his words now.

"But..." the boy's voice was small and suddenly, he didn't look like a defiant general. He looked like a scared, little padawan, "I don't want you to do it."

"Why not?"

It was a fair enough question and one that Anakin had to actually think about before answering.

"Because... it's embarrassing. And..." Anakin looked away again, his shoulders hunched over, "I... I'll cry in front of you. I'll get angry. Jedi aren't supposed to do that."

"It hasn't stopped you before," sadness had crept into the Jedi's voice as he looked sympathetically at his padawan, "and now I'm giving you an opportunity to do so. You can scream and cry and get as angry as you need to."

"And... you won't get angry?" the question was small, timid and it made Obi-Wan feel like someone had punched his gut.

"No, young one. I won't be angry, I won't judge. I won't say anything if you don't want me to. What we're going to do will be all about you. You can say whatever you want, even if it's about me."

Anakin's shoulders trembled a little, "I'm not a very good Jedi, am I?" the boy jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Since when had Obi-Wan got so close?

"You aren't a normal Jedi. You're unconventional. But that does not mean that it is your fault, nor does it mean that you are a bad Jedi. We have had unconventional Jedi before now and they have become great Jedi Knights and Masters. Qui-Gon rarely did things in a "normal" way," he offered the boy a smile, "you just need a little bit of help and that's all right. You are still a padawan, you're still learning and that is to be expected. It is all right for me to help you."

"I don't think anyone's been helped like this before though," Anakin murmured, offering a weak smile.

"How would you know? I doubt that if someone had been helped like this before they would broadcast it."

"I... I still don't want you to do this," Anakin mumbled.

"I know," Obi-Wan murmured, squeezing his shoulder, "but I didn't expect you to," he ran a hand down his face and sighed, "come on. Let's get this over with."

Anakin's head snapped up, "What?"

"Well, we might as well-"

"Wait, you want to spank me now!?" Anakin yelped, jumping back.

Obi-Wan shrugged, "When did you expect your spanking to happen?"

"Not this very minute!" he squeaked.

"You haven't had one for days now. You and I both know that you need one and don't try and tell me that you don't."

"No," Anakin shook his head, "you're not doing this."

"Yes, I am," Obi-Wan answered firmly, "you can protest all you like, my young padawan, but it isn't going to stop me."

Anakin's wide eyes flitted from the Jedi to the door. He was in the way of getting out, but if he was quick enough... he swore he had his mental shields up. Or was he really just that transparent? Perhaps he was just easy for his master to read. Because one minute he was trying to make a run for it and the next, Obi-Wan was stooping down and heaving him over his shoulder.

"Master!" Anakin squealed, his eyes widened as the floor suddenly grew away from him, "Lemme go! For kriff's sake, you can't do this! Master, you- ow!" the boy's protests were cut short as a hard smack was delivered to his wriggling bottom. He still had his leggings and tunic on, so it didn't actually hurt all that much, but it was the mere fact that his master had struck him. It brought home to the boy that Obi-Wan was being serious. He really was going to to do this.

"Language, Anakin," Obi-Wan warned him sternly, one arm wrapped round his waist, the other round his legs, "I was going to suggest that we talk about this beforehand, but it's clear to me that you're beyond that now."

No, Obi-Wan could not do this to him! He wasn't going to let him. He started to kick and struggle, trying as hard as he could to wriggle off Obi-Wan's shoulder, "You can't!" he roared, pushing at Obi-Wan's back. His cheeks were burning with shame, furious to find himself in such a vulnerable and humiliating position, "I'm not going to let you! You have no right! Master! Let me go!"

Anakin's protests fell on deaf ears as Obi-Wan strolled into the kitchen, unshaken by his padawan's protests. He pushed down the guilt he felt, the hurt that festered in his stomach at hearing the desperation in the boy's voice and pulled out a chair with one hand, making sure it was away from anything Anakin could hurt himself with or knock over.

Anakin knew that a change over was coming, that at some point he would have to be put down on the floor so as his master could put him over his lap (presumably that was what the chair was for). He was so sure that he would be able to make his escape, so when he found himself being pulled from the man's shoulder and onto his lap in a manner of seconds, before he even knew it had even happened, he let out a loud growl of frustration.

"I'm sorry, Anakin," what was annoying was, Obi-Wan did really sound apologetic. Anakin twisted round, his eyes widening as he saw Obi-Wan roll up his longs sleeves, "but this will help you and I am not going to let your emotions destroy you just because of your pride."

"It isn't pride!" Anakin yelled, trying to scramble off of his master's lap. He thought he was managed to wriggle away before Obi-Wan's other leg enclose his own. He was now hanging off one of his legs, his own effectively trapped, backside upturned and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, I would let you kick, but you're fighting too hard this time for me to let you do so."

"What did you expect me to do!?" the boy roared, trying as hard as he could to pull himself out of between his master's legs, but the man was simply too strong. Panic started to set in and he squirmed and fought as hard as he could, "Master, don't do this! I know you don't want to!"

"You're right, I don't," Obi-Wan agreed, pulling up Anakin's tunic, one hand resting on the small of his back. He was being gentle, but still had Anakin effectively pinned down, "but what I want is not as important as what you need."

"I-I don't need it! R-really, I'm fine! W-we'll just meditate!" Anakin cried, desperation seeping into his voice as he felt his master's fingers curl around his waistband, "Hey, n-no- wait, what are you doing!?"

"I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry," Obi-Wan sighed, as he began to pull his padawan's leggings and underwear down, "but I don't have a choice."

"Yes you do!" Anakin yelled, blushing fiercely as he felt his bare skin being exposed. He choked on a dry sob as his bottom was bared. It was more humiliating than he could bear, "Master, please!" he wailed, "I-I don't want you to do this!"

"Believe me, my very young padawan, I don't want to either," Anakin felt one hand leave his back his eyes widening. He twisting round- Force, his master looked sad. He looked mournful, but there was still the determination mingled in with the upset. Just because this was hurting him didn't mean that he was going to stop. His eyes moved from Obi-Wan's face to his hand, which was raised high.

"N-n-no, Master, Master, please don't! Master, please, please! I'm sorry, please, Master- AH!"

Obi-Wan's hand came down and came down hard. The painful, burning sting was accompanied with a loud smack that seemed to reverberate around the room, "O-o-ow!" Anakin whined, wriggling with pain, but scarcely had time to calm down before another hard smack was delivered to his bottom.

And another.

And another.

Before Anakin even knew what was happening, he was squirming and yelping, whilst his master began to spank him a steady rhythm. If his padawan's pleading had affected him, Anakin certainly couldn't feel it's effects. Obi-Wan's hand continued to rain down a steady beat of loud smacks.

Anakin was completely helpless. The Jedi had him pinned down easily and the leg trapping his own meant that all he could do was squirm and cry out. No matter how hard he fought, there was nothing he could do and Obi-Wan's hand was ceaseless. Because of what they had used at the club, Anakin had honestly not expected the Jedi's hand to hurt so much, but it was awful. Maybe he using the Force to increase the sting because the boy was fighting and yelling as much as he had done with a paddle. Or perhaps it was because it was his master. And that caused a pain that strangers couldn't inflict. He loved Obi-Wan; he was like his father, his big brother, but he was hurting him, humiliating him. He didn't want to, but he was still doing it. And that made the pain ten times worse.

"Feel free to start talking any time you want, Anakin," the boy turned at the annoyingly calm voice, anger rising up in him. How dare he, how  _dare_  Obi-Wan be so calm when he was hurting his padawan so much, acting as though he wasn't making the most embarrassing day of his life.

"I don't want to talk!" he snarled, eyes burning with anger, "I want you to stop."

"I'm afraid you can't have it both ways, my young padawan," Obi-Wan sighed, sounding genuinely remorseful as he slapped the tops of his thighs particularly hard.

"What d'you want me to talk about?" the boy yelled, gritting his teeth as another painful smack was delivered, "how much of a koochoo you're being? How much of a kriffing, stupid, dopa-maskey bastard you are!?"

They were getting somewhere; Obi-Wan always knew when a nerve was hit when Anakin started swearing in Huttese, "It's a start," he murmured, bringing his hand down again on the wriggling bottom, the cheeks now turning a light shade of pink.

"Does nothing make you angry!?" Anakin roared, hitting the Jedi's shin hard with his fist.

"I'm not here to discuss what makes me angry, padawan," Obi-Wan continued calmly, ignoring the throbbing in his shin, "this isn't about me. This is about you."

"What do you want me to say then!?" Anakin yelled, sounding desperate.

"I don't want you to say anything in particular," the Jedi answered, giving the small of his back a rub before bringing down his other hand again, "I want you to let go of your feelings. You can scream, cry, shout, fight- you're allowed to do whatever you want to to release your emotions."

"I don't want to d-do any of those things!" Anakin wailed, "I-I want you to stop hurting me!"

The boy's cries hurt; Obi-Wan actually paused for a moment, before resuming the punishment. He had to be cruel; otherwise Anakin wouldn't be able to last the week, "If I stop hurting you now, you're only going to hurt yourself later," the Jedi said softly, "you need to give in. You need to accept that it is all right feel all of these emotions. It's the only way you can get rid of them."

"Eleven years too late, don't you think, Master?" Anakin snarled, his voice full of venomous rage.

"Is it?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice gentle in comparison to the scathing anger of his padawan's.

"You never said it was okay before now!" the boy roared, "I-I had to hide  _everything_  that I felt all that time and now y-you're saying it's okay for me to feel those things!?" his hand gripped his master's ankle, fingernails digging into his skin, "that isn't fair! After a-all this time I had to hide how I felt b-because I knew what you'd tell me and now you want me t-to pour out my heart to you!?"

When he didn't get an instant reply, he ranted on, all the while trying his hardest to avoid the hard hand coming down on his tender skin.

"You never let me talk about how I felt! Not even when I was nine you'd never let me say! I've never been able to talk to you! We never talked about Qui-Gon, about my mother, y-you always just told me to release my emotions into the Force, to let go!" tears welled in his eyes, though he furiously blinked them back, "how could I just let go?! N-nobody had ever taught me how! You knew meditation didn't work for me, but you didn't change! You didn't think, you just kept giving me the same stupid saying, the same d-defunct method! I needed you and you weren't there for me! You were never there for me!"

No reply and still the hand continued to bring down its biting sting.

"Stop!" Anakin roared, flinging his hand back in the desperate attempt to get his master to listen, "I-I want you to s-stop! Now!"

He felt the the hand that was previously on the small of his back move to pin his arm down, moving it away from his heated bottom. He let out wordless wail of despair as the spanking carried on, his master seeming more heartless with every spank.

"S-stop it!" Anakin cried, trying to yank his arm out of Obi-Wan's firm grip, "Master, you're hurting me! Please!"

"I'm sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan's voice sounded a little tremulous as he spoke, "but you know I need to do this."

"No!" the boy tossed and bucked, trying harder than ever to get away, but no matter how much of a fuss he kicked up, the Jedi's aim stayed true. His bottom was really stinging now, a horrible, nasty burn that only got worse and worse. Tears started to roll down his flushed cheeks, his breath hitching into a sob.

"Please!" Anakin cried, "I-I didn't mean those things I said, I didn't-"

"Yes, you did," Obi-Wan's voice, kind, gentle, cut across him, "but that's all right. I'm not angry. I want you to keep talking. It's clear you've wanted to say these things to me for some time now," the boy let out a sob, shaking his head, "It's all right, padawan. You can say whatever you need to, whatever you want to. You won't get in trouble."

Anakin didn't speak for a few minutes, tremors rippling across the boy's shoulders, "I love you," he choked, "y-you're like my dad, m-my brother. But... y-you never said! A-and I could never tell you! How could I tell you? Y-you didn't let me talk about Mom, h-how could I tell you you're like family?! You're all I've got and you never let me say!"

Obi-Wan didn't think that he would be able to actually feel it. Anakin had told him that he was pushed till he broke down and of course, he knew that he meant physically. But he could feel it. Something in Anakin shifted. Something had snapped. He could feel it across their bond, along with all the pain and anger and hurt. He had finally given in.

He slowed down his smacks until finally, he stopped. His padawan was now crying in earnest, his wails filling the kitchen. His body was shivering a little, but it wasn't the fighting and squirming like before. He simply lay there, one hand still pinned to his back, the other clinging to his master's ankle.

Obi-Wan's hand was warm and throbbing a little with the exertion, but that was nothing compared to what he had done to Anakin. Guilt made his stomach churn, a sick feeling bleeding into his being as he looked down at his handiwork. The boy's bottom was now a deep shade of pink, nearing to red, the tops of his thighs a bright pink. It looked so painful... and he was the one who had caused it. He was the reason his beloved padawan was in so much pain, was currently crying his heart out for the whole damn Temple to hear.

Swallowing hard, he gently pulled up his padawan's underwear, wincing as the boy let out a particularly loud howl at the motion. Then he lifted up his leggings. Force, even with them on he could still feel how hot his rear was. He prayed he hadn't done serious damage to him. He sat there for a moment, looking at the crying boy hanging off his leg.

He released his arm, not even realised that he had still been pinning it to his back. Obi-Wan couldn't quite find it in himself to speak, unsure of what to say or do. Then, slowly, he eased to boy off his lap till he was almost standing, then he caught his legs up in one arm and moved him onto his lap.

They really hadn't done anything like this since his padawan was a first initiate, but he was nine then. Children needed hugs, but as he grew up, Obi-Wan convinced himself that his padawan didn't need them. But he started to think that he might have been wrong, seeing as it was clear he had been wrong about so much.

As he pulled Anakin to his chest, as he wrapped his arms around his shaking form, he honestly expected the boy to struggle, to push against him, to snarl, to fight back. But instead, Anakin flung his arms around his middle and buried his face against his shoulder. Obi-Wan was almost certain that all the breath would be squeezed out of him if the boy squeezed him any tighter.

He let out a sigh of relief, hugging him even tighter. Yes, Anakin was crying his eyes out, yes, he was in pain, pain that Obi-Wan had caused, but he was okay. He was finally getting what he needed. He could tell, though he didn't know how (maybe it was just the way all masters could tell certain things about their charges), but he had needed this for a while. Not just the emotional release but this, the aftermath, someone to cling to, to cry against, someone who could hold him and make sure that he would be all right.

Obi-Wan sunk back against the chair, feeling considerably more relaxed now. He much preferred it when Anakin was upright on his lap than over it. He rubbed circles into the shaking back and began to rock him back and forth without even realising it.

Anakin's cries eased a little and though there were still tears, he wasn't the hysterical sobbing mess that he was before. He hid his face against his robes, breathing in the scent that he had always found so comforting.

The Jedi understood fully now why Mira had not wanted his padawan to go back there. It made him hold onto the boy tighter when he thought about him going out of that place in this exact state, with no one to offer him comfort. He hated spanking him and he was sure that he would always hate it, but this, just holding him, letting him know that everything was okay- this, he didn't mind so much.

He glanced down as Anakin finally peered up at him. His eyes were round and were still spilling tears onto his flushed cheeks. He sniffled, trying to shift a little only to whimper loudly, "O-o-ow," he rested his head on his Master's shoulder, giving him a look of misery "it hurts!"

"I know," Obi-Wan soothed, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "I know, I'm sorry."

The boy sniffed, only hand clinging to his front, his fingers absent mindedly playing with his tunic. The Jedi couldn't help but smile as a very familiar pout shaped his padawan's mouth. Anakin noticed the look on his master's face, only to pout even further, giving him a hurt look.

"I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. This isn't funny," Obi-Wan eased, wiping a tear stained cheek with his thumb, "it's just... you like your nine years old again."

Anakin blinked, clearly unsure as to what to do with that information, "I... oh," he allowed his master to wipe his cheeks dry, rather bemused by the action.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Anakin mumbled, "and sore. But I'm not upset any more."

"That's good."

The padawan nodded, his fingers playing with Obi-Wan's robes without thinking, "Are... Are you okay?" the Jedi nodded, chuckling as Anakin scowled up at him, "Master, don't lie."

"All right. I'm... I'm glad you're feeling better. But I feel terrible for what I put you through. Even you needed it... being the one to make you cry was certainly the last thing that I have ever wanted to do."

"But... I hated you doing it too... But I'm not mad at you for doing it. It really hurts. A lot more than I thought it would," Anakin admitted, "but... I feel better now. It's like you've taken a weight off my shoulders."

"I know. I can feel it," Obi-Wan nodded, "I can't believe it's helped you this much."

Anakin looked down at his master's chest, avoiding his eyes as he spoke, "About... about what I said..."

He felt his master sigh and he curled up tighter in the man's lap, still looking anywhere other than Obi-Wan. For a while there was no reply and though Anakin could feel no anger through their bond, he felt the sting of hurt. He was starting to worry that he would simply push off his lap now and walk away, but then he felt fingers card through his hair and Anakin's taught body melted into the embrace once more.

"You were right," Anakin looked up in surprise, "what you said. We didn't talk about Qui-Gon, we didn't talk about your mother," the Jedi sighed, one hand still running gently through the ever growing locks, "you said no one had ever taught you how to release your emotions. Well, no one ever taught me how to talk. I've been able to handle my emotions for most of my life. It never really occurred to me how badly you really struggled with yours," he paused, "and... I'm sorry, I never said it. It was certainly never my intention to make you feel unwanted. But ... I do love you Anakin. Y... you're like my brother. I wouldn't do this to the both of us if I didn't love you."

Obi-Wan couldn't help but grin as Anakin stared up at him, his eyes wide, "You know the Jedi rule about attachments. They have it for a reason. But I doubt that even if you wanted to obey that rule, neither of us could do it. I think we're far past the point of no return now," his padawan was still staring at him, "are you all right?"

The chair almost tipped back as Anakin flung his arms around Obi-Wan's neck. He ignored the throbbing pain in his rear that was caused by the movement, squeezing the man as tight as he could.

"I love you," Anakin's voice was mumbled by Obi-Wan's shoulder where he had yet again buried his face, "I love you, Master."

Obi-Wan smiled, squeezing the boy tight, "I know. I love you too, Anakin."

"You're an idiot for taking so long to say."

The Jedi laughed, "Yes, I know. For that, I am sorry."

Anakin pulled away, a smile shining on his face, "Hey, because we're doing this now, does that mean I won't have to meditate any more?"

"Nope."

"What?" Anakin yelped, frowning at the rather smug look on his master's face, "b-but we're doing this instead!"

"I know, padawan, but meditating is an important part of being a Jedi. You cannot just ignore it."

"But I'm injured!" Anakin whined, "how do you expect me to concentrate on meditating when I can't even sit properly."

"It won't be forever," Obi-Wan soothed, "and I can always give you some lotion for it or heal it with the Force."

"You may have to," Anakin mumbled, "if you expect me to sit for long periods of time tomorrow, you may just have to."

"You've had far worse 'injuries' than this padawan," Obi-Wan smirked, pressing a kiss to his sulking padawan's forehead, "I'm sure you will survive."

"We will be doing this often?" the boy asked, still pouting.

"We will do it as often as you need to," Obi-Wan answered, "but only when you need to."

Anakin nodded, raising his shining eyes to meet his master's, "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

The Jedi gave him a smile, "You're welcome, Anakin."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> koochoo- idiot
> 
> dopa-maskey- two-faced
> 
> Kriffing- fucking


	3. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers: I own nothing.

Anakin was sleeping. Obi-Wan doubted he intended for this to happen or even thought that it could happen, yet there he was, sleeping peacefully against him. One minute his eyes were drooping and the next, his whole body had melted against him, sinking, boneless, into his arms. He face was resting against the crook of his neck, his body curled up on his master's lap in such a way it looked as though he was trying to prove that he wasn't too big to be held like that.

He was a bit though; Force, the boy was getting bigger than him now. But Obi-Wan didn't mind; he didn't mind keeping a tight hold of him to make sure he didn't simply slide off his lap and pool onto the floor, he didn't mind how Anakin's breath tickled his neck with every small, snuffling snore, he didn't mind that his legs were going numb with the weight of his ever growing padawan. He wasn't a youngling any more, but he didn't mind because Anakin was his youngling and that was what mattered.

Obi-Wan wasn't really sure how long they had been like this now. Anakin had been sitting on his lap for quite some time before he had nodded off, silence and conversation ebbing and returning with ease, whilst all the time, the Jedi stroked his charge's hair, rubbed his back or just held him while he rocked him back and forth; Anakin's fingers were always lost in his master's robes, playing with them with a child's fascination while he listened to his heartbeat or the words rumbling through his chest.

Obi-Wan had never been very enthusiastic about physical contact. Anakin had always craved it of course, always asking for some sort of affection that wasn't subtle, always wanting tight embrace than a pat on the shoulder. But Obi-Wan had always been lost on such matters. He didn't grow up on hugs and kisses and Qui-Gon, though affectionate in his own way, rarely showed his fondness for his padawan, a squeeze of the shoulder or a one armed hug, but never anything like this.

They were raised differently and he simply couldn't help not being as open as Anakin. There weren't many people Anakin loved, but when he did love them, it was a fierce, intense love and hard to hide. When Obi-Wan could love just as passionately, but he just didn't let himself. He may not be a perfect Jedi, but he was too much of a Jedi to be so openly vehement. He struggled with showing such emotions and physical contact, long physical contact, he found somewhat awkward and difficult to deal with.

So he was surprised to find himself at ease. This was certainly the longest he had held him for a long time and he thought that this bit would be almost as difficult as the spanking. But it was... nice. It was easy; it felt right for his padawan to be sitting so comfortably in his embrace, it didn't feel strange that he was happy to hold him till his legs were dead. What had happened had stripped both master and padawan raw. They both needed this; Obi-Wan needed the assurance that Anakin was all right and Anakin needed to let his master make everything all right.

Really, it was time for the boy to go to bed. They certainly couldn't stay here for the rest of the night, he wouldn't be able to walk in the morning. The Jedi tightened his arms around him, sliding them round his back and under his legs. He rose to his feet, grimacing as his feet tingled, his nerves shivering back to life. It took a few staggering steps before he could walk properly again; he had been sitting down for quite sometime and all of that time Anakin had been on his lap.

The boy hadn't noticed the change. His head was now resting on Obi-Wan's shoulder, but he was still snoozing peacefully on as though nothing had happened.

"Padawan, you're getting far too big for this," Obi-Wan grunted as he carried the young man into the room. It was far easier when he was nine, when he fit snugly into his arms with ease; now his long legs were dangling off the crook of one arm and his dead weight was weighing him down.

The Jedi had to be careful to not trip over the clothes scattered around his padawan's bedroom. Really, he was twenty; surely he didn't still have to have his master tell him to tidy his bedroom? With difficulty and what he saw as surprising skill, he managed to pull out some fresh pyjamas from a drawer. Now came the hard part; somehow getting his padawan in the pyjamas.

Obi-Wan tipped the sleeping boy onto his feet, eliciting a petulant groan from him. He couldn't help but chuckle as Anakin merely slumped against his front, as though he could sleep standing like that.

"Come on, Anakin," Obi-Wan eased, rubbing his back, "you need to get changed."

"Murrrrm," Anakin whined, shaking his head against his master's shoulder.

"Come on. I need a bit of help, at least," he managed to pull the boy away from him, making him sway on the spot. He might collapse there and then, so he had to be quick, "get your arms up, come on."

"'m not a younglin'," Anakin mumbled, his eyes still closed as he lifted up his arms.

"Well, you could have fooled me," Obi-Wan smirked as he lifted his tunic off. Really, if Anakin wanted to prove how grown up he was, the least he could do was pull off his own top. But tonight clearly wasn't a night to be grown up.

Anakin frowned, pouting a little at the comment, "'m big now," he murmured, allowing his master to pull his arms into his sleeves of his pyjama shirt.

"Of course you are, Anakin," the Jedi muttered, shaking his head, "can you do the rest or-" his question was answered as Anakin slumped forward against him, face pressed against the crook of his neck, arms dangling off his shoulders. Obi-Wan hoped he would remember this in the morning because it would be too good an opportunity to miss teasing him. It might be seen as cruel to hold it over Anakin's head, but it was all fair game. There were many things, too many things, that Anakin teased him about.

Sighing, he half walked, half dragged his padawan to the bed. He pulled off his leggings and underwear before sitting him down. That woke him up a bit at least. He sat up, whining and grimacing as he squirmed in his seat. Obi-Wan had actually forgotten that it would painful for him to sit down now.

"I'm sorry," he soothed, running a hand through his hair, "I know it hurts, but you can go to bed soon," he crouched down lifting each leg into the pyjamas before pulling them up, "come on, one last time you have to stand up and then you're going to bed," he hushed, easing his padawan up a bit so as he could dress him properly. One arm keeping him steady, Obi-Wan pulled back the covers with the other and eased Anakin onto the mattress.

"Mas'er," a hand reached up and grabbed a fistful of Obi-Wan's tunic. Anakin was staring at him with unfocused eyes, bleary with sleep, "you cross with me?"

It was a small, whimpering question and it furrowed the Jedi's brow with concern.

"No, of course not, Anakin," Obi-Wan hushed, squeezing his shoulder, "why would I be?"

"Don' know," his blue eyes, alight with worry, welled with tears and he sniffled miserably, "but I'm sorry."

"My very young padawan, you have nothing to be sorry for," Obi-Wan soothed, ignoring the boy's fretting as he pulled the covers over him, "you've had a rough day. Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning."

"You sure?" Anakin mumbled, his eyes already closing as his Master gently pushed him onto his back.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now sleep, young one."

He didn't need telling twice; as soon as his head sunk into the pillow, Anakin was asleep. Obi-Wan gazed at him for a moment, absentmindedly brushing his cheek with a finger. Was this what it would always be like then? Would this soon become a familiar routine: every few weeks, he'd pull his padawan over his knee, spank him, hold him, then put him to bed? He couldn't see how that could ever be normal. But, when Anakin was first his padawan, he hadn't been able to see how the small boy living with him would slot into his life. It took time, but normality did come in the end. Maybe this would take some time, maybe it would take a long time, but Obi-Wan knew that it wasn't going to go away. It would become routine and Anakin would be all the better for it.

..

Anakin was prone to bad dreams and restless nights. Even when he didn't have bad dreams, he'd often wake up in the middle of the night, or he'd find it hard to sleep or something would get in the way of him having good night's rest. But last night had passed with ease. There were no dreams, no breaks in his sleep. Just that: sleep.

He wasn't used to getting so much of it. It was almost as though he had an excess of sleep, like it was an actual substance that was clogging his brain. It took him a while for Anakin to wake up that morning, gazing listlessly at the wall for good ten minutes or so whilst his brain figured out how to switch itself back on. All of the events that had happened last night had flown from his mind. Right then, he wasn't really thinking about anything, more trying to wake up, so it wasn't only in pain but surprise that he cried out as he rolled over onto his back.

Anakin scrambled up onto his side, his eyes wide, colour rushing to his face. He was wide awake now.

The memories of last night came rushing forth, the realisation of what had happened dawning on him. No. No, that had to be a dream. He must have made it up in his head while he slept, Obi-Wan would never do something like that. He didn't believe in corporal punishment, he wouldn't have wanted to do that. And yet… slowly, he pushed down the waistband of his pyjamas, before letting out something between a whimper and a groan. What was he thinking? Had his master actually lost his mind last night?!

Anakin's head, which was buried in his hands, snapped up at a knock on the door.

"Anakin?"

No. No, no, no, no, he was not going to see Obi-Wan. Thinking as fast as his sleep dregged mind could allow, he hurriedly lay back down and tossed the covers back over him. He couldn't deny that he had had better plans, but it was too early in the morning to and there was too little time to think up of such strategies as he was used to.

Obi-Wan entered the room, surprised to find that it wasn't locked. His eyes immediately fell on the Anakin shaped lump in the bed. Oh padawan, really? Pretending to be asleep when his emotions were burning through their bond like wildfire? It was a pathetic attempt, but then again, the boy didn't really have many other options. They lived together. No matter how much he hid, he'd have to face his master some time.

Obi-Wan wondered if he was really so embarrassed, before realising that that was a stupid question. If his master did what he had done to Anakin- well, he didn't even want to think about it, so Force only knew what the boy was going through. It needed to be done and though there was awkwardness on both sides, out of the two of them, Anakin bore the brunt of the humiliation far more than his master did.

Sighing, he made his way over to the bed, gently sitting down next to the form under the covers that was yet to show his head. He held his hands, watching the still lump next to him. Perhaps he was holding his breath?

Anakin certainly wasn't going to breach the silence between them. If Obi-Wan waited for him to do so, they'd never leave the room.

"I know you're awake, you know," he said gently, his eyes fixed on Anakin for a reaction, now that his shields were raised up. The form tensed a little but didn't move, "you can't hide from me forever. I am your master and the master-padawan relationship does require some sort of communication every once in a while," he felt a twinge of irritation flash across their bond and he smiled. Clearly his humour wasn't appreciated today, "do you want to talk about it?"

There was a shuffling sound as the boy shook his head.

"Do you think you'll ever want to talk about it."

Again, another head shake, this one more vigorous.

"Well, I'm afraid we can't just forget about it, Anakin. Unfortunately things like this cannot be forgotten like that."

"Yes, they can," came a small voice from under the covers, "we'll just pretend it never happened."

"Now, how can we do that when it's going to happen again?"

Fingers curled round the edge of the bed sheets, pulling them down to reveal a pair of sparkling azure eyes. It was a start. Whether the rest of the covers would go down today was another matter though.

"No it's not," Anakin mumbled, staring at Obi-Wan with round eyes.

The Jedi ran a hand over his beard, sighing, "It is, padawan. I think you knew that already. Neither of us have much choice in the matter."

Anakin shrunk a little against the mattress, as though if he pressed himself against it enough it would envelop him whole. He didn't catch the full sentence, but the Jedi heard something about "meditation".

"Anakin, you know it won't work as well," Obi-Wan said, looking rather morose, "I don't want to hurt you, but you can't release your emotions as well without me doing so."

Anakin stared at him for a moment, before slowly, with a gingerness that made Obi-Wan's insides roll with guilt, he sat up. He pulled his knees to his chest, still hiding behind the covers. He still wanted to hide, still wanted that superfluous defence from reality. He gazed at his master with round eyes, making Obi-Wan wonder whether Anakin had even grown up in the past eleven years. That sounded harsh; he had improved so much in that time and would soon probably be a greater a Jedi than Obi-Wan himself, but there, staring at him in such vulnerability, he looked like a youngling.

"You spanked me." His voice was small, quiet, like he was admitting to something he did wrong.

Obi-Wan nodded, "Yes."

"And… you'll do it again?"

"When you need it. And only when you need it."

"And how are you gonna know?"

A small smile broke the look of despondency on Obi-Wan's face, "I don't think it will be hard for me to tell, do you?" he said kindly, "you might be getting good at hiding your emotions from others, but you've still yet to fool me."

Anakin huffed out a sigh, his brow furrowing in a scowl, "It's hard."

"Yes," Obi-Wan agreed, understanding, "I know."

Anakin glanced around his room for a moment, rolling the conversation over in his mind. Then, something, though he didn't know what, made his eyes go wide and what little of his face he could see turn pink.

"Did… Did you put me to bed last night?"

It was hard not to smile. The dismay in the boy's voice sobered Obi-Wan enough to keep a straight face, but that particular memory of last night was quite amusing. It wasn't Anakin's fault of course. The boy had been emotionally and physically drained, it was little wonder he could hardly keep awake. The Jedi had a feeling his padawan wouldn't see it that way.

"Yes, I did- Anakin," Anakin pressed the bedsheets to his face again, groaning. In his embarrassment, he let his shields slip and his humiliation spilled across their bond, "Anakin, it's all right."

"It's not all right!" Anakin wailed, "I'm twenty! I'm supposed to be an adult and you put me to bed! You had to dress me for kriff's sake!"

"Only because you were in no state to do so yourself," Obi-Wan said firmly, "Anakin. It's all right," with a strong tug, he managed to pull the bed sheets from Anakin's grip. Quickly, he grabbed his hands, holding them fast so as they couldn't rise to his face again, "Anakin. I don't think any less of you because of what happened last night. I mean it- padawan, look at me," he moved his hands to his face, holding his blushing cheeks in his palms, forcing the downcast eyes to meet his, "I mean it. You were exhausted. You had gone through a great ordeal and I did not mind looking after you. You needed to be looked after and there is no shame in that."

"Jedi don't need looking after," Anakin murmured.

"All Jedi do, every once in a while. You've had to look after me before, have you not?"

"That's different," he mumbled, trying to pull away.

"How so?"

"I didn't put you to bed," he protested, sounding rather sullen.

"No, but I have had my master put me to bed before now, when I couldn't do so myself."

Anakin stared, "Really?"

Obi-Wan nodded, "Really. No matter who that person is, no matter how far they've come, I can guarantee you that they would have had help somewhere along the way. In all sorts of forms. There's no shame in being helped."

"But… this is going to happen a lot, isn't it?" Anakin asked quietly.

He pulled his hands away from his cheeks, nodding, "Probably, yes."

"What happens when I'm not your padawan any more? What if I get to be a Jedi Master and you're still doing this?"

"We're getting a little ahead of ourselves, don't you think? You haven't even taken the trials yet."

"You can't help me forever," Anakin mumbled.

"Why not?" the question was surprisingly simple and it caught him off guard, "we help each other, Anakin and we won't stop when you become a knight, you know that. There's a limit to how long I can be your master, but there's no limit to how long we can help each other for."

"This is different though," he protested sullenly, though Obi-Wan could tell that he could find no flaws in his logic.

"Yes, I agree, this is different. But different doesn't have to mean bad."

"It's weird," Anakin scowled at the confusing smile that spread across Obi-Wan's face.

"It's… Unconventional. I'll give you that. But I don't think it's weird. When you explained it to me, your logic was sound. It makes sense that this would work. I wish there was another way, really, I do. But this is what works and we have to accept that. We have to work with it."

"I bet you wish you had a normal padawan now," Anakin muttered, bitterly, glowering at his feet.

Obi-Wan gazed at him for a moment, something close to pity in his eyes, "What did I tell you last night?"

"A lot of things," the padawan grumbled.

The Jedi sighed. He looked down at his hands, instinctively raising up his own shields, "I told you that I loved you, didn't I?"

He could feel Anakin's intense gaze on him, as though trying to see right past his mental shields and into his mind. It was hard, saying things like this and Obi-Wan was making that painfully obvious. The boy continued to stare at him, like he was trying to work out something.

"Did you mean it?"

That wasn't what he expected. He lifted his head to meet the burning blue eyes and sighed, "Anakin-"

"Did you?"

He could feel as well as see the tentativeness, the desperation, the fear of what Obi-Wan's answer would be. Anakin was so scared that he wouldn't hear what he wanted to, what he needed to. He was scared that things wouldn't change, that after last night they would just carry on not talking, not being open, not being honest. It hurt, but what hurt the most was that his padawan wasn't sure if his master meant what he said. He wasn't entirely sure if Obi-Wan loved him and that brought a sting that the Jedi didn't know could hurt so much.

"Of course I did," his words were quieter than usual, but there was earnest there, the sincerity infected with sadness that Anakin couldn't quite understand, "I meant every word that I said. Do you think I only told you to appease you?"

Obi-Wan wasn't insulted. He was hurt, yes, he could see that, but he wasn't angry. Anakin had always found his master hard to read, but if he had to guess, he was upset at himself, not his padawan. Obi-Wan could be so confusing at times.

"No," Anakin murmured and he didn't. Really, he didn't. But Obi-Wan had never said anything of the like before now. It was novel, to hear such a declaration out loud. He just wanted confirmation, "I just… I wanted to make sure."

Oh Force, that just made things worse. Sorrow seemed to leak into every line of Obi-Wan's face and Anakin was hit with the desperate urge to make things better; but he didn't know how. His master was the strong one in their relationship, he was the one who fixed things, not Anakin.

"I'm sorry-"

His apology was cut short by a hand, "No. No, don't be sorry, Anakin," Obi-Wan murmured, a slight shake of his head accompanying his words, "you don't have anything to be sorry for."

He turned his face from him, looking down at his boots, which suddenly seemed interesting. This wasn't like Obi-Wan. He was never one to shy away from a difficult conversation (and Force only knew how many they had had), but here, there was a vulnerability in him, a rawness that almost scared Anakin. He was so used to his master being closed off from him that now he had managed to pry him open a little, he was unsure of what to do.

"The point I was trying to make was that…" Obi-Wan shifted, clearly uncomfortable. This was hard. He was a wonderful negotiator, but when it came to a conversation about his feelings and not diplomacy, the Jedi's power with words was lost and he could only flounder, "why would I want a 'normal' padawan when I have you?"

Those words, they brought an odd feeling, like his insides were being pulled different ways. At the same time that Anakin's stomach dropped, his heart leapt into his throat. He didn't think he could feel so elated and so guilty at the same time. He didn't like seeing Obi-Wan so utterly lost, but his words made elation run through his veins. The dichotomy made him struggle for words and after repeatedly opening and shutting his mouth, he opted for silence, his master watching the whole performance with a certain amusement.

"I think we need to talk. But, I hardly see much point when everything I say makes you speechless."

Anakin swallowed, trying to collect himself, "Not… not everything you say."

Obi-Wan snorted, "Right, of course," he glanced at the boy who's intent gaze was still fixed on his master, "We do need to talk though."

Anakin nodded, "I know," he watched as the man rose to his feet.

"If I let you get dressed, do you promise not to lock yourself in this room for the rest of the day?"

Anakin gave a small smile and nodded, "Yeah. I promise."

..

Anakin was still trying to hide, in a way. Even though he was in plain sight, even though he knew that there was no point. His gaze fell on anywhere other than his master, as though if he didn't look at him, then he wasn't there. The colour in his cheeks was fading a little which was something at least; they had practically gone red when he pulled back the kitchen chair to see two cushions on the seat. Obi-Wan knew that Anakin saw he was trying to be nice and he had to appreciate it (seeing as sitting was no easy affair), but it was inadvertently drawing attention to something the boy would rather forget about.

It wasn't going to be forgotten though, as much as he may have wanted it to. Unfortunately, things didn't work that way.

They had been sat at opposite ends of the table for a few minutes now. Time was going so slowly it was as though every second was dragging its feet. Obi-Wan sat, still and watchful, nursing a steaming cup of tea in his hands, his eyes trained on his padawan. Anakin was not still. Whether it was nerves or because it simply hurt to sit, he was continually fidgeting, shifting on his seat, fingers fumbling with each other or playing with his robes, looking to do anything, anything other than talk.

High running emotions were a perfect opening for anyone to talk, but the turmoil of last night had worn off in his sleep, the anguish replaced with embarrassment. Now the boy seemed more closed off than ever and he wasn't going to volunteer for more humiliation when he knew Obi-Wan could simply do it for him. He'd always take the easy option if it was there for him to choose.

Obi-Wan wasn't entirely sure where to start though. They needed to discuss what Anakin had said to him last night, there was no doubting that. But that was such a huge, multi-faceted issue that he didn't really know how to tackle it. And then there was the actual spanking itself. They needed to talk about that too. They couldn't just ignore it, no matter what Anakin wanted.

His padawan seemed to be forgetting that Obi-Wan didn't want this conversation as much as Anakin didn't. The only difference was that he was prepared to do what was needed, even if it was both something that didn't want.

Mira had mentioned something about rules. Well, that was a start. It was something that was constructive at least. Start small, then get to the overwhelming issues.

"I think we should set some rules."

Anakin looked up sharply at his words, like he had been snapped out of a daydream, "Rules?" he asked, brow furrowing in a mixture of confusion and something like suspicion.

"Not just for you. For me as well."

His eyelids fluttered in surprise, embarrassment momentarily forgotten, "What rules could there be for you?"

"Well, I'm not sure. Perhaps if there are any boundaries you feel I can't cross or if there's anything in particular you don't want me to do."

Anakin thought for a moment, running the words through his head, "Do we need rules?"

"I think it would help. Maybe, after a while, when I know more about what to do and we're a bit more used to it," he smiled a little at the look of incredulity on his padawan's face, "you know what I mean. We don't have to have them forever, but seeing as this is new territory for both of us, it might do us some good to have some guidelines. It would certainly help me know what to do and what not to do. And… maybe it would help you to be given some boundaries."

Anakin paused for a moment, before blurting out, "You can't use anything other than your hand."

Obi-Wan nodded, "I'm more than happy with that."

"You can't tell anyone about it," he scowled at the look of scepticism shot his way across the table.

"Padawan, who would I tell?"

"I don't know," he mumbled sullenly, "the Council."

"The Council? I hardly see how it's their business, Anakin."

"Won't they think you're abusing me if they found out though?" Anakin asked quietly.

"I… I doubt they'll ever find out, but if they do, they'll have to know that you're a consenting adult. It's not as if I'm forcing you."

"You are a bit."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, "To an extent, yes, I am."

"I still don't like it."

"Why do I have the feeling that that's a phrase I'm going to be hearing a lot?" he scoffed a little at the moody pout on his padawan's face, "come on, what else can you think of?"

The boy sighed, "Seeing as I don't have a say in it, you have to talk to me about it, at least. And I want you to give a reason! You can't just start…" his words faltered a little. He found it hard to even say the word, which was a little amusing, a little sad and oddly endearing at the same time, "You can't just spank me because you think I deserve it."

"You'll never deserve a spanking. You'll only need one, there's a difference, Anakin," Obi-Wan said gently, "I think I'll know when you need one anyway, but I understand you wanting a valid reason. What sort of reason do I need to give though, in order to spank you?"

Colour was painting his cheeks again as he gave a one shouldered shrug, "I…" he deflated, his shoulder sagging, "never mind," he murmured, "it's never going to work. You can't qualify emotion."

Obi-Wan thought for a moment, his fingers running over his beard, "Well… Perhaps I could explain to you why I think you need to be spanked. It doesn't have to be a reason that could be qualifiable, it might be because it was the way you acted or how angry you've been. Say, if you've snapped at me or someone else a number of times, or if you've been sulking for a few days."

"I don't sulk!" Anakin protested, shrinking back into his chair, offended.

"I think that's debatable, padawan," Obi-Wan replied, smirking a little as the young man glowered at him, "now, is there anything else?"

Anakin paused, before bringing his legs up to his chest, an action which, Obi-Wan noticed, he was beginning to do quite a bit, "You don't shout at me."

"Now why would I shout at you?" he asked, his kind eyes regarding the boy, who seemed to be trying to make himself as small as possible.

"I don't know," Anakin mumbled, "And…" his voice trailed off and he looked down at his knees, his cheeks glowing.

"And?" Obi-Wan questioned gently.

"I want… What you did afterwards…"

Ah. Anakin really hadn't been listening that much last night. Did he honestly think that the entirety of last night was just a one off? That after last night that would be it? Clearly Obi-Wan needed to reiterate.

"Padawan, when I say I will spank you again, I mean that everything I did last night I will do again. I'll talk to you beforehand, I talk you through it, I'll be with you every step of the way. And that includes looking after you afterwards," he smiled a little as Anakin's head snapped up, his eyes round, "Do you really think I would leave you in such a state? Do I appear so heartless to you, padawan?"

"N-no," Anakin spluttered, "no, I just… that's not… we don't usually do that."

Obi-Wan gave a short laugh, "Oh, like spanking you is a daily occurrence? We don't usually do any of this, Anakin."

"I know, but, I mean… we don't really hug, do we?"

Obi-Wan fell short there. He could hear the sadness tinge his words and the mirth drained from him, his smile faltering. He had been hoping rather that they would be able to avoid issues like this for longer, but clearly, he had been avoiding issues for too long.

"Do you wish that we did?"

Anakin looked down at the table, thinking for a moment, "I wish that you wanted to," Obi-Wan stared, become vaguely aware of a tightness in his chest, a tightness which only worsened as the young man before him continued to speak, "When did you start wanting to? When did you stop resenting and actually wanted to be my master?" there was a bit of bite to his words, but for the most part, he just sounded morose and a little confused.

The Jedi didn't know what to say. He could see the pain in his padawan's face, how tense his body was like he was scared of being told off. It was little wonder that his fight or flight response was kicking in; often, when he tried to talk about his emotions or his mother, the discussion would end with a reprimand about emotion and a reminder that he was a Jedi. There was no emotion, only the Force. That little lesson that Obi-Wan and everyone else in the Temple had tried to repeatedly ram down Anakin's throat clearly hadn't done him any good.

"It… It didn't come on all of a sudden," Obi-Wan explained quietly, "it came on slowly, so slowly that I didn't even realised it was happening. I realised when you were ten," he avoided Anakin's burning gaze, feeling the rather unpleasant role reversal. Usually it was his padawan who would be looking away, wanting to shy from unwanted duties. Now he couldn't force himself to look Anakin in the eye, "Do you remember when you got ill, really ill?"

Yes, he could remember. It was very easy to recall just how sick he felt, how he had practically fallen out of his bed, staggering and tripping his way to his master's room, only to throw up on the way there. He had been so scared that Obi-Wan would be angry when he found him, but when he did, he didn't feel the expected blows, only to be enveloped in strong arms and pulled against his chest.

He remembered feeling his master's fear through their fragile bond, remembered how he had stayed with him throughout all of the weeks he was in the Halls of Healing. He was there all the time, always with Anakin, soothing away his nightmares, easing his pain through the Force, even going so far as to feed him when he was too weak to do so. Anakin nodded slowly.

"Of course, I didn't tell you at the time, it would only serve to panic you, but the healers told me that there was chance that you might die," the young man stared, watching Obi-Wan continue to gaze down at the table, "that was when I realised. I knew then that I loved you. The thought of living without you terrified me, the mere idea of losing someone else…"

He shook his head slowly, his eyes glassy, "I knew I couldn't live without you. After Qui-Gon it had been just you and me. And you can't realise until you have one how much of your life a child takes up. Your life revolves around them and that's okay. You were and still are the centre of my world. You're my child. But I didn't say because I thought it would be giving you what you wanted, when, really, I would have been giving what you needed."

Obi-Wan waited for a minute or so before looking up at Anakin, who hadn't spoken and didn't look like he was going to anytime soon. After a few minutes, he swallowed hard and whispered, "You loved me then?"

His voice was small and Obi-Wan could feel his chest constrict with that familiar, painful tightness. He sounded almost confused. Perhaps he hadn't have thought that Obi-Wan would love him so soon after being his padawan, or maybe he had thought he should have loved him sooner.

"I should have told you when I knew. Not only was it hypocritical of me to keep the information from you, it was cruel. But I didn't know Anakin. I wasn't raised with love like you. I didn't know how to love, least of all openly. It was an unfair situation on both parts. And… I did try, Anakin," his voice was earnest and he leant forward a little, as though trying to persuade Anakin that he really meant what he said, "I did try. I'd lost my master and… he was my world and he was gone and I couldn't grieve because I needed to look after you. I don't blame you," he interjected quickly at the hurt expression that flashed across his padawan's face, "I did. But I don't now. It wasn't either of our faults that this happened. But were you were nine and the world as you knew it has changed so drastically and you didn't even have your mother to help you. I can't imagine how hard it was for you," he shook his head, "I wasn't the right master for you, Anakin. I shouldn't have trained you."

"Yes you should!" Obi-Wan looked up in surprise to see Anakin's defiant scowl marring his brow, "no one wanted me. Even you didn't want me, but you still trained me! No one else would have done that. After Qui-Gon died I didn't want anyone else to train me but you. I know you didn't like me at first, but there's no way any other master in this Temple would have put up with the things that you did," the boy sighed, "you hurt me. A lot sometimes. But I love you and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to train me," he tightened his arms around his legs, still scowling, looking very much like a youngling, "I'm glad you're training me."

The smile that appeared on Obi-wan's face came easily and he could feel the tightness in his chest finally easing away, "I'm glad too."

The scowl eased a little, making way for the small smile that quirked the corners of Anakin's mouth, "Wow. We really don't talk, do we?"

"No, we don't. I think we probably should though."

"Did you ever talk with Qui-Gon?"

Obi-Wan shook his head, "No. Usually, we would resolve issues through the Force, meditating together. No one ever trained me how to be a master, so I got a lot of my methods from him. It took some time to learn that I would have to change my tactics with you."

Anakin snorted at that, "I bet you didn't think you have to make this drastic a change?"

Obi-Wan smiled a little, "No, I have to admit that I didn't. But that's all right," he grave a contented shrug, "what worked with me didn't necessarily need to work with you."

"Do you wish it did?"

Obi-Wan thought for a moment, "I wish I didn't have to spank you. I don't enjoy hurting you, but that's the only aspect where my training differed from yours that I don't enjoy. And the arguments. I don't think Qui-Gon ever had screaming matches like we do."

"We don't scream," Anakin said slowly, "just… vocalise our displeasure. Loudly."

Obi-Wan snorted, "Well, I don't scream. You do though."

"Hey, I do not!" Anakin exclaimed, pouting a little.

Obi-Wan rose an eyebrow at him, "Padawan, my eardrums, if not the whole Temple, beg to differ."

Anakin scowled, before a look of horror passed across his face, "Wait, you don't think anyone heard me last night, do you?"

Obi-Wan could feel the dread and embarrassment bleeding through their bond and he couldn't help but wince. His padawan had been loud from start to finish and the spanking itself, the very smacks had seemed to reverberate around the room. If it weren't for the fact that the spanking itself could be heard, it could just be a regular argument between the two.

"I don't know," he replied honestly, "but I was exaggerating before. I don't think anyone would have heard and if they had, they probably only would have heard a passing sound. I can't imagine anyone listening in."

"But what if they did?" Anakin asked, cheeks turning pink at the very thought.

"Well, first of all, it isn't any of their business and second of all, if they were to tell someone, who would they tell? And who would believe them? You have to admit Anakin, the idea of me spanking you does sound ludicrous."

"I suppose," Anakin murmured, though he didn't sound convinced.

Obi-Wan offered him a comforting smile, "If you're that worried about it, we can invest in something to soundproof the apartment."

Anakin nodded, "I think that would be wise," he paused, before his head sunk into his hands, "I made so much noise last night," he groaned, "it… it was so embarrassing!"

Obi-Wan watched him, unsure of how to comfort him. He was loud and of course he would find it embarrassing. His master had humiliated him, hurt him, pushed him to the edge of breaking point, only to dress him and put him to bed later on. If that had happened to him, he didn't think that he'd be able to crawl out of his room ever again, let alone have a conversation with his attacker. It was admirable, what he did. He could just let his emotions run riot, only he was actually doing something about it. He was taking action, as awful as that action was. It was admirable, but he knew that Anakin wouldn't see it that way.

"You're a very brave young man, Anakin."

Anakin looked up in complete confusion and surprise, embarrassment momentarily forgotten, "What?"

"You told me that you needed to do this, not to better yourself, not to help yourself in any way. You told me you were doing this because you were in charge of men's lives and that you couldn't put them at risk," he leant forward a little, "you're putting yourself through an awful lot of pain and turmoil for them. Most people wouldn't do it. But you're doing everything you can to ensure the people in your command are safe and that is admirable."

Anakin blinked, still looking utterly surprised to hear those words, "But… I need to."

"I know," Obi-Wan smiled softly, "but a lot of people wouldn't go to the lengths that you're doing to make sure people are safe."

"But, I… their lives are in my hands now. I have to keep them safe. I have to keep you safe," the earnestness in his voice brought back the tightness in Obi-Wan's chest, only this time, it wasn't quite so painful, "I can't let my emotions control me if it's putting my friends and men at risk."

Obi-Wan's smile was one of pride and he could feel both of their hearts swelling with emotion across the bond, "Anakin, no one, hopefully, will ever know about the lengths you go to to keep your men and your friends safe apart from me. So… I want to say thank you, for doing this for me and for them. I should thank you, no one else is going to."

Anakin stared, before a wide smile split his face, his cheeks glowing with pride, "You'd do the same."

"In all honesty, padawan, I'm not sure whether I could. That's why it's so exceptional that you're doing this."

"Well, you're doing it too," Anakin pointed out, the stupid grin still on his face, "you're the one who has to actually do it. That's commendable too."

"Yes, but giving pain isn't quite the same as receiving it," Obi-Wan replied, smiling still, "I'm very proud of you, Anakin. I know I don't often say it, but I am. You've come a very long way, my young padawan."

When Anakin spoke, his voice was a little tremulous with emotion, "You are?" he asked quietly, "even though I keep losing my lightsaber?"

Obi-Wan laughed, "Yes, even though you keep losing your lightsaber."

"I…" Anakin grinned, "thanks, Master."

"That's all right, Anakin, but really," Obi-Wan allowed the pride in his chest soak their bond, "you don't have anything to thank me for."


End file.
